The Last Chapter of Your Story has Not Been Written Yet!
What do you do when it seems like suffering won’t stop? What do you do when it feels like your pain doesn’t have a point? What do you do when it feels like your weaknesses continue to worsen? You start living!
Maybe you have taken a knock down concerning your finances lately. Maybe it’s with your kids, with your marriage, with your health. Or maybe some other arena of life has you in its grip. You are laying on the mat gasping and you don’t know which step to take next. People ask you how you are and you say ‘fine’. But you are not fine and they will never know that unless you voice your thoughts.
We are people and we struggle, we suffer, we bleed and we cry. And if you think that true strength means never showing any weakness then I’m telling you you’re wrong. You are wrong because it’s the opposite!
You might feel depressed sometimes. You are going to have weeks where you don’t feel like eating, where gravity is working overtime and you can barely lift your fork to your mouth.
You are going to have a choice to either give up or get up. It’s like you have to save your own life.
We all struggle, we all know what it is to hurt, we all know what it is to have pain in our heart. And you know what? It’s okay not to be okay.
As much as you hate some of the parts of your life, depression has dragged you down into the valleys but only to show you there are peaks. Yeah it dragged you through the dark but only to remind you there is light. Life is not always good, life is not always rosy but it is worth living. Have faith in yourself because, on the other side of your pain is something good.
I believe that, where you are right now, that is your beginning. I believe that you are just in between two miracles. You have to become something new. Take those traumas, take that pain of those terrible events in your life and allow it to become a part of who you want to be. Create a new story of triumph.
This might be a page in your life, it might even be a chapter in your life but it ain’t the book. You are not finished writing yet! So, I need you to get up and get busy living!
Off Label Patterns That Reveal Narcissism (Part II of III)
What to expect when you unhook from a narcissistic relationship.
Narcissists first and foremost are injured, souls. They are emotionally damaged but are unable to carry this damage. And so, they want to make it all about you. But in fact, they are sidestepping their responsibility for the difficulties they have.
Now there is one overarching truth that we can say about what is going to happen when you let it be known, through word or deed, that you are disengaging and that is: a narcissist is going to come after you with lots of accusations. They will let the world know that you are the problem, you are the one who is creating all this difficulty.
It is so damn important for you to understand that it is not you who is the problem! They are the chronic victim.
* Read about some tactics that narcissists like to use to make you look as if you are being responsible for them in part II of my article ‘Off Label Patterns That Reveal Narcissism’ published on the website of CPTSD Foundation https://cptsdfoundation.org/2022/09/02/off-label-patterns-that-reveal-narcissism-part-ii-of-iii/
* To read my other articles on e.g. PTSD, narcissism, Social Camouflaging and shadow visit https://cptsdfoundation.org/author/maria-vandriel/
Off Label Patterns That Reveal Narcissism (Part I)
Happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, and anger are the six basic emotions psychologist Paul Eckman identified during the 1970s. Basic emotions that he suggested are universally experienced in all human cultures. He later expanded his list of basic emotions with pride, shame, embarrassment, and excitement.
These basic, or core, emotions, we all have bumped into them in one way or another in our relationships where they are experienced on a deeper level when it concerns our romantic relationships. In a healthy relationship, these core emotions are experienced in a balanced manner. We can talk about our feelings with those people we share these emotions with in order to minimize the duration of the lesser moments, to learn from ourselves and others, create a mutual understanding, and have a healthy and close bond with the ones who are most important to us. But, when you are in a toxic relationship this is a one-way street, a business contract set up by a narcissist, these fundamental emotions are being used against you in a very twisted way.
Gaslighting is one of the sickest forms of narcissistic abuse you will experience when dating a psychopath. It is their secret weapon of ultimate mind control and they use it all the time to torture and psychologically abuse their victims.
There are numerous ways for the narcissist to execute their manipulative mind games but in a nutshell, the narcissist’s happiness becomes your reward, they punish you by making you doubt yourself and feeling sad, and their fear (insecurity) and anger become your daily stress and confusion. As for the emotion of disgust, this is what the Narcissist displays in projecting and leveling the emotions of their victim(s). The emotion of surprise, well, this is what most of these individuals often experience and translate as shame.
This wry way of thinking is caused by the narcissist being incapable of experiencing any depth of vulnerability and thus projects his/her shame and rage outwards onto carefully chosen ‘targets’ in order to not have to ‘carry’ his/her shame and rage within him/herself. The result is them gaslighting you and using you as a flying monkey in order to maintain the controlling power over you…their victim. The narcissists start to brag, exaggerate, and lie about their greatness and self-esteem which suggests that they are trying to convince themselves to disguise hidden self-loathing and feelings of inferiority.
To read the full article visit the website of CPTSD Foundation https://cptsdfoundation.org/2022/08/17/off-label-patterns-that-reveal-narcissism-part-1/?fbclid=IwAR02wtNrfVP4xQ5I8MiBrcnviD9ziuIwvov7NKPAPg0Y4yAW-ile73BQTsA
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